The allure and luxury of doing NOTHING
Sometimes the best self-care is time.
I've been incredibly fortunate to experience the luxury of doing nothing this past month. This time has taught me a lot and provided an opportunity to reflect on my past and plan for my future - something I’ve never managed to find time for. I've always been the kind of person who plans my day down to the minute, ensuring I slot in time for friends and prioritise moments with my partner. However, these past four weeks have caused me to rethink my approach to time, revealing that the best self-care can sometimes be as simple as giving yourself space to breathe.
I have ADHD, which, for those who know, means I crave every ounce of dopamine I can get my hands on. As a result, I’ve never given myself the chance to be alone, fearing I might confront some of the obsessive thoughts I've been suppressing. My weekends have typically been packed with markets, dinners, comedy shows, and pints with friends. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy these simple pleasures, but I often ended the week in tears. I used to think those tears were a reaction to being alone, but it never occurred to me that they stemmed from pure social exhaustion. While I cherish the memories made with friends, I regret not allowing myself time to recharge.
My older sister often jokes (or mocks, in classic sisterly fashion) about my inability to be alone. Sometimes, it makes me laugh; other times, it stings a bit. I would tell myself, "I can be independent." But it wasn't about independence; it was about dependency. I relied on those around me to provide the dopamine I desperately craved.
However, this month has forced me to slow down, and I’m grateful for that! I’ve never truly had time like this before. These moments alone have re-energised me beyond belief. I did spend January with my partner, but he values his space and quiet, so I still consider this time alone - even if he's within 20 meters of me at any given moment. He has taught me about personal boundaries, and I believe I owe part of this newfound energy to him. To be completely transparent, I also spent the early part of January with close friends and family, but it was in a way that fueled me positively.
Traveling this month has been the best gift to myself. I managed to escape the winter gloom of London, and instead, I indulged in some natural vitamin D (with SPF 50+, of course). Sitting by the pool and reading a book was just the time I needed to clear my mind. Drinking a gin and tonic while reading the Daily Mail (not the best choice, but I can’t resist clickbait) helped kickstart my new year planning, all while successfully reigniting my anxiety about flying. Taking long walks in nature without headphones allowed me to reflect and feel more grounded. Lying at the bottom of the pool, looking up at the world, provided me with complete silence and time to think. These little moments combined to rejuvenate me from all the depleting energy I felt in London. I finally understood the allure of doing nothing - something I once feared to experience.
There’s an undeniable privilege in having the time to do nothing. In a world that glorifies busyness, the ability to step back and simply exist feels like the ultimate luxury. Time, after all, is the one currency we can never replenish. Being able to slow down, rest without guilt, and embrace stillness is something not everyone can afford - literally or figuratively. This past month has made me acutely aware of how precious unstructured time truly is. It’s not just about relaxation; it’s about resetting, recharging, and allowing yourself the space to simply be.
All these moments, whether slightly distracted by external media or not, allowed me to lose track of time and do some much-needed organising in my mind. I’m so appreciative of this period I’ve taken for myself. I feel ready to embrace the new year. I’ll be returning to London shortly, and for the first time ever, I'm excited. I’m eager to jump back into my (new and improved) routine, feeling confident about what lies ahead.
Xoxo
Doing nothing is so underrated - love this piece!
great work!